Standardized testing, homeschool version

Day 1

Me: Do the next problem and mark the correct bubble on your answer sheet.

Dominic (6 yo): Bubble? [Gales of laughter. Falls out of chair.] 

Me: Do the next problem and mark the correct bubble on your answer sheet. 

Dominic: Do this one? 80. 20. Hunh? ... Wait, do what? Oh! 80 *plus* 20. Hmmmm. Let. me. think. [Exaggerated thoughtful face. Taps mouth with pencil. Stares out window...still staring...still staring...blinks.] Oh, hi Mom! Are you still here?

Me: [Pouring margarita] Do the next problem and mark the correct bubble on your answer sheet. 

Dominic: Which one? This one? 80 plus 20? It's 9! Right, Mom? Right? That's right isn't it? I'm so good at this. I'm the best. Can I give you a hug? Are we done?

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Day 2

Me: Look at the pictures in your test book. Choose the picture that shows someone doing a "school rule". Fill in the circle on your answer sheet that goes with the picture of someone following a "school rule". 

Dominic [triumphantly]: This one! (Points at kid punching another kid in the chest.) Ohhh, wait, no. Is it this one? [Points at picture of child tripping another child with an armload of books.] Hmmm....I don't understand what this kid is doing...[indicates picture of child throwing trash in a trash can.] Ummmm.....Mom, what's a "school rule"?

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Day 3

Me: Which of these would you find in a school?

Dominic [Reading options]: Baby!

Me [breastfeeding]: Mark your answer. Good job.